An au pair arrangement starts with a shared understanding of the week.
An au pair may support a recurring childcare routine, with responsibilities such as school collection or homework supervision only where specifically agreed. Put the actual work into words before choosing the person.
Map an ordinary day before the exceptions.
Describe when care starts, where it takes place and how the time is likely to be used. Include transitions such as school collection, an activity or a parent's return. Then discuss less predictable days, including changed school times or holidays.
A clear routine is easier to discuss than a broad request to help with everything. Identify the tasks that must happen and the parts where you are comfortable leaving room for judgement.
Do not leave responsibilities inside the title.
An au pair title does not automatically include transport, cleaning, tutoring or every household task. Agree the work, hours, boundaries and practical arrangements with the person you are considering.
If school runs are part of the proposed role, discuss the vehicle, collection permissions and transport arrangements directly. Treat homework supervision and subject tutoring as different needs: watching a routine is not the same as providing specialist teaching.
Ask how the person would approach your routine.
Describe a typical afternoon and ask how a prospective au pair would manage it. Discuss their relevant experience, how they communicate with children and how they would tell you about a concern or a change of plan.
Regular arrangements need clear written terms. The title alone does not determine the obligations of the people involved; seek appropriate advice where the nature of the working arrangement is unclear.
Agree how the routine can change.
Put the current routine and useful contacts in a private handover, and decide how changes will be confirmed. Avoid relying on an old message when collection times or responsible adults have changed.
Set aside a simple check-in to review what is working. Discuss any additional responsibilities before they become an assumption.